Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Awk Squawk: Lady Mom and naughtiness

Awk Squawk is a new feature. Like "Gawk at the Awk" focusing on photos, Awk Squawk is funny or uncomfortable snippets of conversation that may not warrant a whole framing story. To inaugurate this, I'd like to highlight a couple inappropriate comments made from my usually buttoned-up Lady Mom.


Me, age 16, talking to a friend: I accidentally kicked her [another friend's] glove compartment and a whip fell out at my feet.
LM: You are too young to be having sex! Especially kinky sex!
Me: How old do I need to be to have kinky sex?
LM: NEVER.

Brother (to me): Girls suck at science, and especially math (cue long-winded tirade)
LM: (holds thumb and pointer finger apart) Well if women weren't told all their lives that this was nine inches, maybe we'd be a little better at math.


And a gem from Dr. Dad, another reason I'm a hypochondriac:

Me: I think I might have strep...
Dr. Dad: You could have gonorrhea of the throat.
Me: Well I know it's not that because -
Dr. Dad: WOAH. STOP. I don't want to hear anything about my daughter and sex. No. Bad. Don't do it.
Me: You just suggested I had gonorrhea! And I was trying to prove you wrong.
Dr. Dad: But I was joking. Don't have sex. Don't get STDs. I've got to go, bye.

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